Church of the Nazarene

Information may not be reliable

Thanks to Bobbe and Donnie Hayes from MediaCreated4U for this great video from our meeting at the Views at Superstition back in April. This is also linked on our usual spot for slideshows but this one needed to be seen on the front page for a few weeks.

Advice from “Ask Zadie” of the Wedding Chronicle
Rpondez s’il vous plat. It sounds lovely in French, doesn’t it? Lovely, but at the same time serious. On an invitation it politely requests agracious response. We can all agree the hosts deserve the kindness of a reply-whether or notyou will attend. They need to know how much food and liquor to order; how many tables and cloths to request; how many chairs will be required to seat the bottoms of tired, hungry guests. When only a few reply and many arrive, the numbersslideout of sync; although many positive replies and few guests can be just as annoying.
How about letting someone know if you will attend WEN? And after you respond,making a serious attempt to attend is greatly appreciated. Then, as they say in New Orleans…Laissez les bon temps rouler!!

#3:: Client says, I dont need a wedding planner, the venue has one on site.
I have had the opportunity to work with many amazing and wonderful Directors of Catering (DoC) or Onsite Event Coordinators (OEC) and honestly if it wasnt for one in particular, I would not have been given the chance in the industry that I have now. To start off, I do want to mention one thing, wedding planners are here to help, make you look even better and relieve you of performing more than you are expected to. So many times, I hear from potential inquiries, I dont need a wedding planner, the venue has one on site or The Director of Catering said she would help me plan my wedding. I need you to A. stop doing and or saying that and B. communicate to your clients that you are there on behalf of the venue first. Let me expand. The hundreds of hours that wedding planners put into making the clients day everything they imagined is not something that you get paid enough to do. I hope I am not being insulting because I have no idea what your salary is but the amount of work that you do currently is plenty. I constantly see DoCs buried in work. They have so many events they are juggling at once and it seems to be that way all year round. It puzzles me that you would want to communicate to your client that you will help them plan their wedding. What I see that ends up happening many times is that the client thinks they dont need a planner because they have you, then the emails and phone calls start rolling in. Do you think I should go with an ivory or white gown? Do you think this shade of flower will match your linen? Can you proof my invitation? Where do you think I should sit my divorced parents? What song should I walk down the aisle too? Why isnt my {insert vendor here}calling me back? and it goes on and on and on. Pretty soon, the client is more than you wanted to handle (not saying this is something you cant handle, because I know and have seen you do it). So why not, from the get-go, suggest that a client hire a reputable planner from the beginning of their planning process. Express to the couple that you will do whatever needs to be done to make their day beautiful but you do have limitations and are ultimately responsible for the decisions made that is connected to your venue. Any DoC or OEC will tell you that when they have a positive experience with a planner they love it and do refer them. Help us make this true to all sites. Its better for me, for the client and for you.
Top 12 List of Things I want to Change or Communicate Better in this Industry

7.Videography should be included in the budget. Hearing someone laugh (or cry) is different than seeing itlive.
6.Dcor is important and gives an entire sense of style and feeling for the event. Guests may forget exactlywhat the flowers/rentals, lighting/etc. look like specifically but wont ever forget how all those elementstogether made them feel.
5.All vendors should be fed at events but please make sure to do it in another private room and please dont go through the buffet line.
4.Wedding planners need to stop being so bossy and controlling. Trust the vendorsto do their jobs or dont refer them. Do you really want to work with a vendor you dont trust, you have to control or micromanage?
3.Be about flexibility with structure on the wedding day.
2.Lighting is everything for photographers so give them a little more light when they ask for it.
1.Give the married couple 10 minutes alone after the ceremony. They are forever united and took a huge step in their relationship and deserve a few moments to relish in the moment.
So, let me step off my soap box for now as my throat is a bit hoarse. Many thanks to Curtis, the members of the Wedding and Event Network and to the readers of this blog for enduring my rant. Again, if you want to discuss any of my thoughts further in person, over the phone, via twitter, Facebook, Skype or maybe in another group format I will buy the first round for everyone.
Thanks for listening and caring about what I had to write.

November 17, 2009 - 10:16 am Tony Laub - I totally agree with #1...and never really thought about it before! Yes...give them at least 10 minutes. They just took a huge step in their life. Let them digest and savor this huge emotional plunge!
November 25, 2009 - 12:41 pm Aleasha Shelton - A Day to Cherish - Cicily, I adore everything you have written in this series. If this message gets through to the industry, we will see massive change for the better in every element of every wedding. Next step: let's rent a billboard to put this on!
November 25, 2009 - 12:57 pm Curtis Whipple - Thanks for #8 too. It goes for the good DJs anyways. The untrained and unqualified hobbyists or other beginners really drag us all down. Sadly, there are brides who have resigned themselves to the thought that "Well, that's just the way DJs are..." No! Spend the time to select a good one and budget for a professional fee.
November 30, 2009 - 9:29 am Chris - Number 5 is soooo important! All the vendors need to be fed. Lately it seems like we are forgotten about more often. We might not be in the room with the reception but we are still there. Put some one in charge to make sure every vendor is included.
January 29, 2010 - 4:03 pm Mark Sanchez - I would personally like to meet this planner. This is a very good post, and she really seems to get it. I conquer with Curtis. #8 needs to be rephrased to good DJ's. Other than that I completely agree with everything.
March 31, 2010 - 9:17 pm Karin L. Crawford - Hear, hear! I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE working with planners! You make it a wonderful, fabulous day for everyone, including all of the rest of us vendors. What a pleasure to partner! I promote planners to all my brides - they enjoy the day more, and so does their family. They are less stressed, and so it's better for EVERYONE!

Hello friends. I hope this posting finds all of you in good health and busy with your customers. I recently attended a large bridal show and witnessed a few things that are probably commonplace occurrences that perhaps should not be commonplace occurrences.
I was situated adjacent to a caterer who prepared some food for the occasion and who, in a stroke of brilliance, brought a grill to the show so that the aroma would waft on the breeze to the surrounding space. Potential customers could smell and taste some hot and delicious samples of what a paying customer could expect at a wedding or other event.

Photo by Kym Ventola
I noticed that several vendors also got in line to help themselves to a sample. It sounds harmless enough doesnt it? Fellow vendors are a good source of referrals too right? If the food is great, they will refer paying customers. The problem was that the caterer had rightly planned for the predicted headcount of brides and their attendants/grooms/mothers. The caterer ultimately ran out of food with about 90 minutes of brides left and it turns out that the predicted headcount would have been perfect. Not only did the extra vendors take food intended for customers, they added to the wait time of those customers and additionally, the caterer was being engaged in conversation by these vendors and that was attention diverted from customers.
Many bridal shows provide a vendor lounge or a boxed lunch and if not, arrangements should be made for our own food and drink.
The caterer had paid for the food and had paid for the booth. You can bet they didnt get a refund for the remaining 90 minutes even though the booth became less effective for its purpose without the food. I think most caterers or florists or other vendors would be happy to impart any leftovers AFTER the show had ended, but not before.
More on this subject:
In writing this, I realize that I may have been guilty of the following offense in times past and if so, I apologize. Each of us should stay in our booth during show hours! You never know when the million-dollar customer/bride is approaching and Id hate for the opportunity for that contact to be diminished by a fellow vendor talking shop. Id hate more to be guilty of having diminished the opportunity for my fellow vendor who paid a price for the exposure to that customer.
I always enjoy seeing my industry mates and hearing a few war stories and of their successes and all about some new techniques they are trying, but if those conversations happen at all while customers are on the floor in the given time, they must be restrained to lulls during fashion shows or before or after the show and one must be very conscious of approaching customers and excuse oneself promptly. (Shameless self-promotion ahead– Save the conversationfor a WEN meeting!)
I notice that most shows require participating vendors to be set up well in advance of the official start time. This allows for each of our cars/vans/trucks to be moved from the preferred parking spaces, those up close to the venue, to parking spacesfurther outbefore customers arrive. Side note- some vendors have identifying monikers on the sides of said vehicles and probably would not want to be noted by customers as having taken up the prime parking spaces- happy customers spend money. The point Im making is that the hour or so before the first customer arrives at a show should be the time to catch up with our industry mates.
Best regards, Curtis Whipple

Next to the DJ, there are others who may be using microphones to add in various ways to the success of an event. These people may include the wedding officiant who will conduct and pronounce the ceremony. The banquet captain may introduce the wait staff or provide instructions on the meal. There will be champagne toasts. The Bride and Groom may take the microphone at the end of the evening to express their gratitude and say good night to the guests.
For a professional DJ, speaking on a microphone should be the least of our worries. For others who may be called upon, it can be excruciating. Since all of our professions cross paths in one way or another in the course of making great weddings and events, perhaps we can help each other out by sharing this information with others who may need it for an event they are working on.
A bit of schooling for the layperson on how microphones work:
When you hear a microphone squealing, its called feedback. The sound is coming out of the speaker and going back into the microphone and through the system and back out the speaker and back into the microphone and a loop is created that sounds like a high pitched squeal. There are a couple of reasons that this may happen. The person using the microphone may walk in front of the high-powered speaker. They may cup their hand over the microphone in an attempt to speak to someone beside them and not have it be broadcast over the sound system. A cupped hand acts as a funnel and draws sound into the microphone and through the system and out the speaker and into the microphone againfeedback. Covering the microphone that way is also an indicator that they werent fully prepared to be speaking yet and should have finished preparations before they were introduced to speak. On occasion, the venue may not give the DJ the space needed to place the speakers such that there will be good stereo separation and that those who will use the microphone are far enough away from the speakers to avoid feedback in any case. I try to avoid all of these situations, but when microphones feedback, the DJ is the one who is made to look unprofessional.
To the wedding officiants: Brides and Grooms have often paid an extra fee to have a separate sound system set up for the ceremony itself. When I introduce myself to the officiant, I explain that the microphone is set in place and already turned on and that I will turn up the volume when they take their place. While shaking their hand, Im also sizing up their height so that I may set the microphone stand exactly where it should be. It is on a boom arm so that it remains out of the way of their hands and their notes. I recently had a minister walk up to begin a lovely garden wedding ceremony and pick up the microphone stand and set it about 8 feet away, rendering it useless. His voice barely reached past the first two or three rows. The sound system provided all of the lovely music that had been chosen by the bride and groom, but more than half of the guests could not even hear the ceremony as it was spoken. Additionally, the videographer that had linked to my sound system to record those words got NOTHING!
If what you have is important enough to say at all, then let it be heard by allover the sound systemUSE the microphone! The DJ can inform microphone users on where to stand and how close to be to the microphone and he or she can even set up microphone stands exactly at the height of their mouths. Take the time to adjust the stand if needed. Trust the DJ to be the sound technician. Disregard what you think it sounds like and just speak clearly into the microphone. Let the DJ adjust the volume to reach the all of the intended listeners. Dont suddenly step back from the microphone because you think its too loud or you dislike the sound of your own voice. What will happen is that the DJ will be forced to turn up the volume to try to capture what little amount of sound is reaching the microphone and risk getting more feedback.
Heres to a great event!

October 16, 2009 - 9:32 am Rev. Ted Czukor - This is great information, Curtis - but I have to tell you that many DJ's are not as professional as you, and cannot be trusted to care as much about whether my voice is being heard. As you know, I spent my early years as a stage and TV actor and had quite a bit of experience with sound systems, as well as cameras. The poor performer (or wedding officiant) is at the total mercy of the technical people, and has no way of knowing how things turned-out until he views the tape or listens to the recording afterward. By then, it's too late - the damage is done. This is why I appreciate the show-biz practice of a technical rehearsal BEFORE opening night, and why I think it would be preferable for the DJ to be at the wedding rehearsal, to give me a mic check on the equipment that I will be using on the Day. I know that's never going to happen, and I'd better get used to it. But I still think that if it's a good idea for Broadway, it's a good idea for a wedding. (By the way, even though I couldn't tell how my voice sounded to the audience, I COULD hear the mic "popping" when I pronounced P's and B's. That could have been avoided by a technical rehearsal.) Thank you for this wonderful website; it provides a unique opportunity to exchange views!
February 22, 2010 - 8:42 am Mark Sanchez - To add to the Rev. Ted's comment; Many DJ's are not as professional because most DJ's are part-timers who hold a full-time job during the week. Therefore have much less time to properly plan and prepare for weddings on the weekend. I play basketball part-time, but I'm certainly not a pro ball player. It is improbable that a DJ will set up equipment for a rehearsal, however it should be a very possible for a DJ to arrive early to give themselves enough time to not only set up, but to make the proper sound checks necessary before guests arrive. Just because a sound system works fine one day, does not mean it will work properly the next. When you pay for professional full time service you get much better results. Good post Curtis, keep climbing those mountains.

By Chris and Jill Smith of A2Z Photobooths
Photo Booths are becoming more popular within the wedding industry. The concept of letting guests take as many pictures as they want and the bride having an album of all their fun photos its catching on as one of the greatest wedding ideas ever. However, placement of the photo booth can either make or break the effectiveness of the concept.
There are many times when a photo booth just wont fit in the ballroom and a wedding planner or mother will try and put the booth at the entrance or lobby. This is okay, because guests will know where to come to get their photos. But this also means they have to physically leave the party in order to have fun in the photo booth. Weve seem numerous occasions where guests would rather be lined up for the photo booth and opt to miss out on other reception features (cutting of cake, toasts, bouquet toss etc). When your photo booth is placed outside of the main party area you are forcing your guests to choose between the party and the photo booth entertainment youve provided.
Sometimes we are placed right next to the DJ now dont get me wrong, we love the music. But when we are right there with the speakers blaring its hard to get guests interested when they cant hear instructions. The DJ typically needs to be front and center with the dance floor the photo booth doesnt need to be a main attraction.
A Photo Booth does very well along a wall or in a corner of the room, with access to remove the booth if its not being used for the entire event. Trust me, you wont miss the photo booth. When its included in the reception area the guests wont have to choose to leave the party.
www.a2zphotbooths.com

First off, let me preface this posting by saying these are my feelings and I dont represent all wedding and event planners. I hope that we are, of course, all united on the topics below but dont want anyone to assume that I am the voice for all of us. This is just merely, little ol Life Design Event Planning chatting with you.
When Curtis called me to discuss his commitment to WEN and his idea about incorporating discussion through this blog, I knew I had to jump on board. Then, I was lucky enough to be invited by Mr. Curtis to write a post. He invited me to be candid, to be vulnerable and to be brutally honest. So, here I go

I have been in business for only about four years now, certainly not long like many of the more veteran planners and vendors out there but during my time, specifically with weddings, I have learned so much and have thought that if I could get on a soapbox and scream to the industry my feelings on a few topics, I would. Now I have that chance. Here are a few hot topics I want to share with you all. I encourage feedback and more discussion at any time and if you would like to speak with me in person, I would even buy our first round.
#1 :: Vendor says, Hey Wedding Planner, I dont know you but will you refer me?
Yes, we are the resource for clients to obtain referrals; we are the trusted ones that have all the right vendors in a secret stash. I like to believe I have great relationships with many vendors in the valley and even nationwide, but it is impossible, yes impossible, for me to refer everyone I come in contact with. I have hundreds, if not thousands of business cards from vendors that meet me, saying I would love to get on your list but never follow up, never prove themselves (and I mean it, I need to see how you can make my clients wedding better than the next vendor) or merely fight for the opportunity. Listen, I am not asking you to kiss up to me, buy me presents or give me money because I refer you. All I want, truly all I want, is my clients to walk away at the end of their day knowing that they worked with some amazing vendors and their day was completely flawless. So that being said, handing me your business card at a networker and then becoming discouraged that I didnt call you is not necessarily someone I am interested in referring. To be frank, I dont have a preferred vendors list, I have something even better; relationships. The vendors that I work with the most are kind, thoughtful, positive, problem solvers, a little flexible, creative, obtainable, trustworthy, respectful, understanding, charitable, amazingly gifted and professional. They have invested, not monetarily but emotionally, in me and my clients and they believe in the energy and experiences I want to articulate for them. We have lunches, we talk often and they stay connected. Simply stated, I like them as business professionals and as people and I trust their work and believe in them equally. I do try to work with many vendors multiple times because our relationship works, we fit, we rock it and the clients love us for it. So, when we meet, dont just show me your card, connect with me, dont ask anything of me but engage me and make me desire to work with you. When ever I have the opportunity and its a good fit, you are who I will think of when its referral time.
#2 :: Planner says, If we are good at our job, then refer us too.
Yes, referring is a big topic of discussion because thats how many of us survive. I have to tell you that I get at least 70% of my business from outside relationships and past clients so its all about who you know is very apparent. But what never ceases to amaze me is the amount of people that want from us but never give themselves. Let me explain. Wedding planners are constantly being asked to refer, refer, refer. Thats what we do, so I get it, but out of all the weddings I have done I can say that only a handful of vendors, outside of other wedding planners, do the same for me. Wedding planners are becoming more involved and are finally being added to the bottom line budget. Couples are working harder, spending more and are acknowledging the value in hiring a good and professional wedding planner, but we still need your help. Many times, when couples become engaged the first thing they do is go to a venue, hence most venues have preferred lists, which is great and very useful. So the couple moves on the next decision, which is typically the photographer then its the DJ or band, Officiant, florist or bridal shop, etc. There are dozens of opportunities for referring but its so interesting how many vendors only choose to A. have a wall of business cards as their only or main resource and B. never engage in conversation about the importance of having a wedding planner execute the details of their day. So its a lot of work to do that, right? Well sure, and I dont expect you to be a commercial for me or any other wedding planner for that matter. What I am saying is if the opportunity arises to bring up the topic, please do it. Good wedding planners will make the day so much more enjoyable for the clients. Good wedding planners will make sure that everything is in order and the clients wont need or have to worry about anything. Good wedding planners will make your life easier, trust in your work and never second guess you like many clients would. Good wedding planners will make you look even better than you already do. Trust me, I hear it so many stories of wedding vendors having to sacrifice the quality of their work because they have to put on the problem solver hat and try to become a planner on the day for the client. Brides dont know how to plan a wedding; they arent professionals at it so why wouldnt every wedding have a project manager to plan the scope of work for them? Let me ask you this, would you build a house without a general contractor? So please, help me and all the wedding planners that work so hard to explain to people that having a good wedding planner is crucial for a flawless day because, it is.

September 30, 2009 - 9:57 am Wendy Robinson - Go Cicely! Well said and very much appreciated!
September 30, 2009 - 10:03 am Jacque Dearing - Cecily... I just have to say YOU GO GIRL !!! I cant tell you how many people call to be "added to this proverbial list". I loved how you put into words exactly how we feel here too. It is sooo much more than just handing someone a business card! I would love to do "A ROUND" sometime... Jacque Dearing, Owner Thee Wedding Warehouse
September 30, 2009 - 11:02 am Liene Stevens - Great points, Cic.
September 30, 2009 - 11:29 am Aleasha Shelton - A Day to Cherish - Spot on! Thank you on behalf of our industry for speaking so well on this subject. I wholeheartedly agree with your thoughts.
October 1, 2009 - 12:33 pm Angela Cook - Well put Cicely! People don't understand that you are representing your company at ALL times, in every aspect of your life. Your actions, your emails, and your conversations - speak loudly on your company's behalf. The ol "show up & throw up" approach of meeting somebody and pushing a business card on them is not how you gain referrals. You refer PEOPLE, not businesses. :)
October 1, 2009 - 1:48 pm Barbara Grace - Cicely, Well said! I especially love this line "To be frank, I dont have a preferred vendors list, I have something even better; relationships." I see people join professional/networking associations, pass out a few business cards and sit back waiting for the group to hand feed them work and then leave the group after a year because they are "not getting any leads." It is only the people who get involved, build relationships, learn to improve their craft by relating with other industry professionals - and - stick around, that continue to get gigs. Just my 2cents. =)
October 1, 2009 - 3:39 pm Kelvin Leung - Very well said Cicely! You set the bar for vendors being professional. It's quite a list:) "kind, thoughtful, positive, problem solvers, a little flexible, creative, obtainable, trustworthy, respectful, understanding, charitable, amazingly gifted and professional"
October 1, 2009 - 11:03 pm Sherri Lucero - Nicely done, Cicely, Thank You!
October 23, 2009 - 2:11 pm Angie VanDaele - I couldn't agree more. I am a definite proponent of meeting with a Consultant as soon as possible in the wedding planning process. Well said.
September 23, 2010 - 10:46 pm Laura Sokol - I love what you had to say! It is so true. "Here's my business card... refer me." Um and you are??? I am a photographer and hear this all the time from florists, officiants, caterers and even other photographers but it isn't often that they offer to take my card first for referrals. If you want vendors to refer you please make an effort to build a relationship. There is nothing like giving a client a referral and finding out that the referred vendor fell through, flaked out, or just wasn't even close to what they expected. #2 makes such a huge difference. If the brides only knew that having a good wedding planner really does make a difference in how stress free their day would be they would all have them. I can't tell you how many times I had to put on the fix it hat and problem solve for a bride who can't find the ribbon for the corset, is wearing RED underwear and doesn't realize that they will show through her white dress, calm a bride who's parents are late, who's minister is missing, and on and on. If they only had a planner most of these things wouldn't have happened or would have been quickly and quietly handled while I took photos of the day. Thank you for writing an article that all people in the wedding industry should read and learn from.

EXT. HOTEL FRONT- MORNING
The sky is desert-bright over a bustling scene music fades in flowers arrive in bucketfuls, a vehicle pulls up with the bakers bringing a magnificent cake.. it is lifted, carefully, out of the vehicle.
INT: HOTEL – BALLROOM
The team carries the cake in slowly, there are sounds of caterers setting up and decorators scurrying, a lighting crew hoists and adjusts cans into place.
INT. BRIDES HOME / INT. GROOMS CONDO
There is a flurry of activity and constant chatter between the attendants and the bride. Gowns are being carried and put on, hair and make-up checked. The bride is now dressed and ready. Her mother leans over to give her daughter a kiss before they leave for the ceremony. The groom clowns around with his friends while they put on their finest.
INT. CHURCH & EXT. CHURCH LATE AFTEROON
The moment arrives, music rises, the grand procession begins and proceeds down the aisle to the altar, where the officiant prepares for his service, and the groomsmen are assembled. The emotion and happiness of taking ones vows, and the witnessing of this, shows on the faces of the couple, the attendants and the guests. Bride and groom walk back down the aisle, acknowledging guests. The music crescendos doves are released and fly up, flower petals drift, friends emote.. there are sounds of laughter, congratulations, chirps of joy someone screams and giggles. The bride and groom are escorted into a car.. the door closes and the car pulls away.

The reception space is now transformed – breathtaking, as the couple arrives to join their guests in celebration. Sounds of fountains splashing and ambient music come from somewhere. Water features splash and glisten, colors and lighting dance on the faces of everyone who has attended.
THE DANCE. Lighting and sounds have softened. The music is personal. . . something secretly shared..
Its their first dance together taking their first steps, as it were.. The party goes on . the wedding party celebrates, everyone is beautiful!

This is the most important day of their lives .. the day they made the commitment to begin an entirely new loving, and spiritual life together. It is to be captured and held as a reminder, and so that others who could not attend may experience this wonderful event, and so this day can be experienced again and again over the years.
THE SCENE AND THE UNSEEN:
How is this to be done? Through Photography, of course, and more recently, Videography, almost as popular a motion picture with sounds and conversations, invites one into their lives and a heart-grabbing glimpse of something so deeply personal. As technology evolves, media becomes more sophisticated, more emotional, compiled as an electronic wedding album, that may tell a complete story from proposal to honeymoon.

Photo stills, with select video footage, script, speech, theme, color, effects, and carefully chosen music. What you have now, is the most beautiful treasure of this day that far outperforms the usual, and shares with others anywhere, anytime!

Explanations are unnecessary when you view the work of a master, like Mr. Jan Johnson, video/film editor, and story teller at Creative Video Montage. He has produced DVDs and CDs for me, my clients homes, realtors, home sellers, family events and weddings. When you view this exceptional work, youll want to have tissues present ! Planners and photographers can now serve their clients in a way, which, until now was not possible, and that they never imagined.
www.allenhewlett.com